HELPP MEEE! :P Is this any good?

Like someone else said, it's too overdramatic and not realistic. I know you're not going for realism, but still. If you smelled a rotting corpse, would you say, "Why? WHY?" No, you probably wouldn't. The average teenager (which I'm guessing in your audience) would probably cuss or be so afraid they couldn't speak or just start crying or something. Do you know what I mean? Try not to be so cliche.