Thursday, August 11, 2011

Comment on my story please? Any mistakes please let me know?

The distant wail of the sirens reverberated through her ears, as she struggled to stand and watch the events taking place before her. She weeped noiselessly, the subtle yet emotional symbols of depression trickled slowly down her face, casting a uneven glint on her light yet powerful complexion. Surrounding her, were a crowd of bustling people increasing by the minute-all straining to do whatever was necessary to find out what all the commotion was about. Slowly, she glanced around only to find unrecognizable faces, all with the face of shock and disbelief as to what they were staring at, while chatting with their friends or unknown strangers to find out the newest information about the event like ladies in a hair salon on a saturday night relaying all their gossip. The street was now covered in a blanket of darkness, obscuring peoples vision as they mindlessly wandered and shoved even closer to the current event. Several cars lined the drive-way, a mirage of different colours surrounded by endless acres of grass, which now resemblanced tyre tracks due to careless drivers. The wail of the sirens, over the past few minutes has increased significantly, and she quickly hesitated to what the polices action would be after they had investigated the current scene. BOOM! The mighty sound echoed across the street and ricocheted off the broad, burly trees resulting in many outcomes: many people rushed out of their houses to see what had created the noise ; it created a air of unsettled ease: and countless high pitched screams and gasps as everyone's eyes were locked and sustained on one target : her house. Her gaze drifted up, and the sight that acknowledged her resulted in her weeping furiously into her own hands. As she slowly started to look, she witnessed it all again. Her one pristine and luxurious house, with spotless white marble wall and delicate chandeliers, accompanied by a garden with exquisite and petite flower, bursting with blossom, casting serenity and peace inside whoever looked at this house, had mercilessly become a dilapidated and burnt house, emblazoned with a fury of one massive fire, engulfing the contents of her home and possessions, not giving a care to who it might affect. Suddenly, the house collapsed again, as a result of the weak and fragile embodiment of the house. Her home for her entire life- destroyed.

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